Kids Resync
My son is a music teacher. As his Mum, I love being able to attend the music concerts put on by the students in his class. It is such a lovely experience to watch these little ones look up to my son (their teacher) and to witness moments of warm interactions between them. I am amazed at how talented some of these children are on their instruments, and am entertained and delighted by those very cute little 5 and 6 year olds performing for the very first time on their ukuleles.
It was at one of these concerts nearly a year ago that I began to reflect upon the impact that music might have on these individual children. I wondered about the benefits of music, its effect on their emotional development and their ability to learn at school. I contrasted this with the many children I worked with as a school counsellor, who were not fortunate enough to have music or other art activities in their lives. My mind went to some children who, due to their severe behavioural issues, were only able to be at school for a couple of hours a day. My thoughts continued to wander throughout that concert, daydreaming about what more could be done to offer hope for these troubled children.
Dr. Neufeld’s pyramid for Realization of Human Potential came to my mind. I knew that the importance of right relationships, soft hearts, rest and play were all vital ingredients to finding a solution for these children. I reflected on how, when we cannot start with right relationships, the pyramid can be inverted. We can begin to find our way through starting with play. How could we make a difference for these children by introducing them to play using music and art? If they had music for their play, could that lead to limbic rest, giving their hearts a chance to soften enough to develop the capacity for right relationships with the adults in their world? How could we offer support for hearts to soften and right relationships to unfold?
Over the next few weeks, my daydreaming quickly turned into conversations and planning, resulting in the birth of a programme called Kids Resync. Kids Resync caters to children aged 5 - 12 years who are not able to fully engage in school due to behaviour or other issues such as anxiety. My aim was to help these children re-sync to the safe adults in their world - the ones who are able to help them make sense of themselves and their emotional world through play and while at school. On sharing this idea with the school where I counsel, they became excited about the programme and quickly made a list of the students who would benefit the most.
During the school term, the children arrive every Monday with their parents and caregivers through the doors at Kids Resync. Parent and caregiver attendance and participation is a non-negotiable part of the programme. Each child starts a play session with a counsellor. This provides an opportunity for the child’s emotions to be expressed through play. We use Dr. Neufeld’s Five Steps to Emotional Development as our guide to help us determine where each child might be in their development, and how we can continue using play to foster invitations for further growth and maturation.
While the children are in their play sessions, the parents and caregivers have a session of their own. Here, we work together to help make sense of what is happening for their child from an attachment-developmental perspective. This also creates an opportunity for the parents and caregivers to be heard and to have their own feelings validated.
Once the sessions are finished, parents and caregivers reunite and reconnect with their children over morning tea. In our programme, we have access to a coffee machine where coffee and hot chocolate can be made, served with home baking and fresh fruit. While the warm drinks and snacks are enjoyed, staff set up play activities for parents, caregivers and their children to engage in together. We offer alternating sessions, one week working with a professional musician and the next week, an occupational therapist.
In the music sessions, children and their parents and caregivers are given the opportunity to play with music. Our musician provides space and materials to build a ukulele, or to decorate bucket drums. Other sessions include learning basic chords on the ukulele, drumming together, creating songs and other forms of art or making room for spontaneous musical play. This also provides an opportunity for relationships to unfold, as our musician takes time to hear some of the hopes and dreams parents and caregivers have for their children. At the end of the term, our musician composes, records and gifts a special, personal song to each child.
In sessions with our occupational therapist, the focus is on supporting children to find expression for their emotional energy through sensory-based activities and games. Our occupational therapist provides fun activities for parents and caregivers to use as play together at home during the week.
Our Kids Resync programme has been running for a year now with a great deal of success! We are still evaluating and dreaming of ways we can adapt, incorporating new and playful ways to meet the needs of the children, parents and caregivers. One of the strengths of our programme is our team. Each person works from the attachment-developmental approach, and brings their individual disciplines, insights and perspectives. This offers richness and depth to our discussions; each of us gaining greater insight into what is happening for every child.
It warms our hearts to hear feedback from the parents, telling us that they are now enjoying more playful moments together with their children and that their children are able to express and talk about their feelings more frequently. Some of the children have been able to transition back to full days at school. We have also had reports about children continuing to play the ukulele, or beginning drumming lessons. Some continue to write songs and have become more engaged in their artwork. As a team, we feel so privileged to be part of this journey. These children now have playgrounds where their big emotions can be expressed. My hope is that this will continue to provide what is needed for their emotional well-being, increasing their ability to learn and play as I had originally envisioned while sitting in the children’s music concert a year ago.
